I always ask the blessed Virgin to help me be a better daughter, to help me to be more obedient and subservient, as is proper for a girl. I always mean it at the time.

This coming-of-age story with the girl disguised as a boy trope is splashed with romance, but it’s more about longing, heartbreak, pining, and LUST for an unrequited love. It explores gender roles in a time and place where they were more fixed, and as someone who’s always rejected them, I resonated with Marieke’s struggles and rejoiced with her being part of an all-male group.

Our protagonist, Marieke, often speaks her mind to her own detriment, and is so, SO horny (as a teenage girl surrounded by gorgeous boys is wont to be). She has some internalized misoginy to work through, but in a society where women are a commodity, their looks mostly determine their value. With the limited opportunities women have is understandable Marieke doesn’t want to adopt these established roles for herself and rather be recognized as the son of Jan Verbeke.

Her father, Jan, is secretive about his past and the reason he avoids anything to do with St. Sebastian’s. Marieke has lost most of her family and her father is the person she admires and loves the most, but she often compares the target of her affections to him, which I found a little weird.

What won me were the characters with larger-than-life personalities inspired by famous swashbucklers: the Journeys. Elite young archers who compete for a place in the Royal Guard, who are not only skilled athletes but expert showmen. From the dashing Tristan with his roguish natural charm and taste for the dramatics, Gilles with his unmatched wit and flair, to the stoic likely champion Taran. I loved the banter and fraternal camaraderie between the Journeys, who are more than they let on.

Marek arrives to the guild as the squire to Tristan, and they quickly discover they make a powerful team. She sees herself as the moon to Tristan’s Sun, and she grows from feeling like an imposter to learn that she can do the squire job even better than most of the others.

Living as a boy, she gets to understand that gender and societal roles in general are mostly performative. The Journeys have a part to play and there’s a lot of pressure put on them for being considered “the best of the best”.

Maybe the main difference between men and women is just what’s expected of them.

The closure to each of the three parts the novel is divided into is satisfying and exciting, but the book ends with enough of a cliffhanger to hook you into the next issue.

This YA historical fiction doesn’t take itself too seriously: it’s set in a fictitious city and is full of anachronisms. It reads more like historical fantasy without the fantastic elements; I encourage YA fantasy fans to give it a try as they’ll find many familiar tropes to love.